Inhale…Exhale…Today was the first day I have felt grounded in 8 months.
For anyone who watched my live feed on IG this morning, because I’m assuming none of you had far more exciting brunch plans, you would know that I could not sleep last night. I kept trying, and trying… mugwort couldn’t even get me into a dream state. I had this energy coursing through my body that wanted to burst out, I was finally going to get my hands in the dirt in just a few short hours and couldn’t handle the excitement. So, like any other adult, I stayed up a good portion of the night watching the Great British Baking Show. First of all, British baked goods really don’t appeal to me, too fruity. I’m a chocolate girl, any form, any kind, I’ll take it. Oh wait, that’s not why you’re reading this post is it? Farming, right, farming… So, I couldn’t sleep and then this morning I could not wait to be out the door to get to the farm. I did not know how much my soul had missed farming. I always refer to my “job” as my social work job, and farming, it’s my souls work, my praxis. It’s what I would do if I could do anything, and, I am doing it, sometimes that still blows my mind. There aren’t many things I love more in this world than digging my hands into cool soil in the morning, or seeing the true leaves starting to pop up on all the seedlings who are still nestled safely in the greenhouse. It feels so rich with possibility right now as we start to move in to spring, and today was the absolute embodiment of that. I think I had forgotten how much processing I do when working the land. I had time to get in touch with what this season means to me, because it’s so different than last year, and it let me move my winter processing out of my body and into the land. Finally being able to ground gave me time to reflect on winter which as been a very quiet time of reflection and rupture in my life. Winter was not all bad, I got to spend a lot of time connecting with new and old friends, sharing my home and space with people I care about. I got to spend some time with my family back home, I got to dedicate my time and energy to the teenagers I work with, and most importantly, I got time to connect with myself in a new and different way. Now though, I’m ready to stop putting pajama pants on at 4 in the afternoon, break out shirts that aren’t flannel (that’s a lie, who am I kidding?), and get back to my souls work, stepping into my role as flower farmer from a much more empowered place in order to bring all sorts of magic and community to the farm this year.
Thank you to all the volunteers who came out today. You are so awesome! I can’t wait to share more farm musings with you all through the season.